


I Didn't Mean It

by StarryMar



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Snakes N' Barrels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8036446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryMar/pseuds/StarryMar
Summary: From a prompt request on tumblr, “I’ve never killed anyone before.”Takes place after the events of Snakes N' Barrels Part II. Toki hasn't left his room since the event, and Skwisgaar can't help but feel concerned for his younger bandmate.





	I Didn't Mean It

Seven. **  
**

Seven days since he’d last seen his bandmate.

Since he last saw him trudge into his bedroom, dazed, hair stringy and a mess, covered in sweat, dirt, possibly tears…

…and blood. Lots of blood.

More blood than Skwisgaar had ever seen on one person before. Even in the most gruesome of klokateer deaths and accidents, he thought.

No, he reasoned, that wasn’t true. He’d seen plenty of blood in his day; his own, others’…it came with the job, he supposed.

But never…

Never on _him_.

He turned his attention back to the door. Its dense wooden beams stretched high to the tall ceilings of Mordhaus, barring him and everyone else out from whatever was currently lurking inside.

He shook his head, mentally chastising himself for dwelling for so long again. It wasn’t metal to be concerned like this, and he certainly couldn’t be caught for the fifth time outside this door, could he? There were only so many excuses he could give to his bandmates, even though he knew, on some level, those excuses probably did no good anyway.

“Pfft, de goofballs probablies just been gettings drunks or some shits. Gots to forgets about it, he ams fines,” He muttered to himself under his breath, for his own sake.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, and began to lumber back down the hallway, making a mediocre promise to himself not to come back.

_CRASH!!_

The piercing, shrill sound of shattering glass froze Skwisgaar in his tracks. His eyes darted back to the bedroom door.

His gaze lingered, waiting as the hushed seconds dragged on.

_CRASH!!_

Another fracturing discord echoed down the hall. His whole body turned now, tensed and uneasy.

_CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!_

The barrage didn’t stop. It continued, louder and louder with each smash of what Skwisgaar could only assume were dozens of empty bottles. One after another they rang out in the silent hallway, the sounds flooding his ears and shaking his being to its core.

A rush of adrenaline overcoming him, Skwisgaar threw himself into the mocking timber, stumbling into the room as the heavy threshold swung open with his impact.

The air felt heavy and tense to him, but his intrusion appeared to had done nothing. Across the darkened room Toki’s body sat hunched as his arm continued to swing bottle after bottle at the alcohol splattered wall ahead of him, the shattered pieces raining down into the growing pile of glass that came before them.  The rest of the room, however, remained in eerie stillness. He perched upon sheets that hadn’t been undone since well before the Sobertown USA No Drugs Allowed Sober Rock and Roll Show, with his deddy bear laying untouched and unloved at its head. Models lay unfinished on his desk, and the food that Charles had been sending to his room sat barely touched in their aluminum trays. His dethphone blinked with unseen messages, and Skwisgaar figured that his fellow guitarist hadn’t even bothered to turn on his lamp in the week since their return.

His attention turned back to Toki, who continued to hurl glass at the stone. Whether he didn’t notice Skwisgaar’s entrance, or chose to ignore him, wasn’t of any concern to the blond as he marched straight for his bandmate. He reached out, snatching the younger man’s arm with an iron grip before he could destroy another bottle,

“What the fucks ams you doings?” Skwisgaar hissed. Toki froze momentarily in his grasp, fixated on the wall where the bottle hadn’t broken. Then, he jerked his head around to his hand, eyes flickering madly about as he stared. His gaze jumped to meet Skwisgaar’s, locking on his eyes briefly. They were bloodshot, and filled with fear, anger, and what Skwisgaar could only assume were tear stains streaking down from below his sunken eyes.

Then, he began to thrash.

“Toki! _Tokis_!” Skwisgaar barked as he clenched his teeth, struggling to hold back the muscular guitarist now hell-bent on escaping his grip, “Toki, stops dis!” His gripes fell on deaf ears, and he quickly abandoned Toki’s arm, choosing instead to throw his entire body on the other to hold him down.

“Gets OFF ofs me!” Toki snarled, flailing as hard as he could against Skwisgaar’s weight. “Leaves me ALONES!” He growled out the last word, freeing himself just enough to send his elbows jabbing into Skwisgaar’s chest.

“Nghh!” He jolted back, but held his ground. “You fuckins dildo, you gots to stops!”

The pair grappled back and forth until they tumbled off the bed, narrowly avoiding the ocean of glass and alcohol waiting below. They tumbled, Skwisgaar ending up on top and finally, successfully pinning his fellow guitarist down,

“Calms de _fucks_ down, Tokis! Dis ams bull shits!”

“Nos!” Toki cried out, still attempting to struggle against Skwisgaar’s hold, “You always tries to tells me what to dos! Fucks you, Skwisgaar!”

“Dis amen’ts worths it! Fuckins stops alreadys! Yous been in heres for a fuckins week, gives it up and stops makins a fuckins scene!”

Toki thrashed his legs wildly, sounding and appearing more and more like a trapped animal. Skwisgaar gritted his teeth as he fought against his hysterical bandmate,

“Yous gonna fuckins hurt youself, Tokis! Ams gonna gets Offdensens if you don'ts stop!”

Toki’s breath hitched and his eyes shot open. They darted around recklessly, before settling on Skwisgaar’s,

“I’ms just gonna hurts yous, den I hurts Offdensens, d-den, den I hurts the whole bands!” His voice began to waver, “Just lets me bes, Skwisgaar!”

“You amen’ts hurtins nobodies, Toki! So just fuckins,” He gathered all of the strength he could muster, and slammed his bandmate roughly into the stone below, knocking the air out of his lungs, “ _ **Calms down!**_ ”

His voice echoed off the walls before the eerie silence returned to the room, save for Skwisgaar’s ragged breathing and the steady _drip drip drip_ of the liquid splashing down the wall. Toki coughed as he tried to regain his breath,

“I…I justs,” he gasped through his raspy wheezing, “I didn’t wants…” His croaks trembled, and soon became choked sobbing. He tried to sit up, but fell helplessly into Skwisgaar’s chest, gripping desperately at his shirt as he wailed harder and harder.

Skwisgaar sat dumbfounded and exhausted with his rhythm guitarist reduced to pieces in his lap. He glanced to the door; it had remained wide-open during their entire debacle, allowing their less-than-empathetic bandmates entrance at any moment.

He debated going to shut it, and his attention flickered for a moment between the threshold, and the man in his lap.

“I’ve n-never killeds anyones b-before, Skwisgaar!” Toki weeped, clutching harder at his lead guitarist’s chest. Their eyes locked at that moment, and the look in Toki’s eyes made Skwisgaar want to vomit.

“I nevers…I nevers…” He buried his head once again as his words became a cacophony of hiccups and sobs, unable to speak coherently anymore.

Skwisgaar sat in stillness as Toki shook them both with his hysterical bawling. He looked back at the door; its mocking timber frame stood guard, solidifying the delicate position he was in, as well as his decision.

Gently, he wrapped his arms around the lithe musician, holding him tight and rubbing soothing circles into his back. He pressed his cheek into the messy brunet hair, and though he jumped and shook with the other’s erratic breathing, he held his ground once again.

As the minutes passed, Toki began to quiet down. Skwisgaar continued to rub his back, finally feeling the tension slip away as his bandmate’s breathing slowed, and eventually evened out as he faded into an exhausted sleep.

Skwisgaar took a final look at the hallway as the light from its dim, flickering candelabras bathed the doorway in a golden glow. He stared at the dancing shadows for a moment, before leaning back against the bedframe, and shutting his eyes.


End file.
